Take a deep breath, it's just a bad day not a bad life. I've heard that quote before. I wish that was true. I've thought, that it would be nice, if kids, can choose their own parents. I was live in a dreamland for almost 20 years. I was dreaming this thing and that thing. Wish that i can share my problem with someone that called 'Mom'. Wish that i can tell her what i feel. Wish i'm so comfort with her around me. Wish i could spend all my time with her. Wish she could see me growing up like what she wanted. But it's only a dream that won't come true. Because, the one who raise me up, is my babysitter, and i think she is the one who knew me so well than my mom. With mom, i feel so insecure, worry, and feel like i'm getting sick with her around me. I just don't want to see her. Just look at her, make me so mad, angry, frustrated. Because of what? Because she is so self-centered. She didn't understand... She won't understand other's people pain. She IS just thinking about her pain. Her feel. Is it her the one who can sad if have a problem? Angry if someone annoyed her? Frustrated if you can't settle anything? So can't I? I wish i could runaway. To any places that accept me. Acknowledge me as human. Because i have a feeling too. And i kinda sick with her attitude. So is it okay if i get angry? The answer is no. Becauae she wont understand it. She will just thinking that she is right and i am always wrong. I thought that what will happen if me and my sister are gone. Leave her alone. And no one be by her side till her die.
